Monday, September 10, 2012

Passing the Stress Test

A pastor recently commented that any couple who can live through a renovation of their house without any problem can live through any other issues.

Well, my wife and I not just lived through a renovation, our house underwent a major re-construction that lasted more than a year. And I am glad to report that we did not quarrel over any issues despite the stress of planning, supervising, waiting, meeting with delay after delays and finally shifting into our new home, which was not totally completed, just a fortnight ago.

There were many challenges that Michelle and I had to face. Many were minor ones but some were major issues. Most of all, the uncertainty of a completion date coupled with a lease expiry of our temporary apartment,exacerbated the issue.

The stress increased after we shifted into our new house. We had to contend with the contractor's and sub-contractors' workers trying to do the finishing touches as we had to move in due to the expiry of the lease of our apartment on 27 August. Everyday since, the workers were crawling all over our house while we tried to settle in. As defects were being rectified, the house was filled with dust. We could not even eat in the house.

To add to the stress, we have been sleeping less than 6 hours a day for the last fortnight due to the need to pack and unpack for the shift. We also returned to our day job last Monday, while juggling with the contractors who were still rectifying the defects on a daily basis.

Despite all those challenges, Michelle and I were surprisingly calm. I realized that we have become mindful that we cannot get angry or be irritated with one another. Trust me, they are 1001 reasons why we can or should be angry with each other during this stressful period. But the great news is that we didn't. It surprised me too!

Then I realized that Michelle and I have reached a level of love that our focus is correctly placed. In the midst of adversities, we willingly refrained from short-tempers and angers, instead, we supported each other with words of encouragement. In place of frustrations, we showed consideration for each other; there were several occasions that the fuse was short and the bomb was about to explode, we quickly recognized it what it is and defused the explosion with kind words to each other. We replaced quarrels with humors, anger with joy and frustrations with peace.

If these were to happen 10 or 15 years ago, we might not have handled the situation as well. Our deliberate decision and follow-on actions to build a powerful family and especially, a strong relationship with each other came to bear. Practicing the 8 keys (Eight Keys to Family Power) over the years showed its worth! My wife and I truly believe that we have become better lovers who are able to place the needs and wants of the other half ahead of our own.

My point is simply this -  great lovers need to practice the art of loving early and consistently in their marriage in order to overcome adversities and challenges that will spring upon every couple in life. The more we deliberately practice, the better we become at loving each other.

Great lovers build their relationship deliberately and consistently.


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