Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Happy Wife's Day

Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are designated to honor and celebrate marital and family relationships. They have history dating back to AD200, 1908 and 1966 respectively. Unfortunately, the modern world has hijacked these special days, turning them into commercially driven annual milestones for spending money :(

Still, I wonder why isn’t there a Wife’s Day or a Husband’s Day?

I don’t have the answer but I do practice my own version of Wife’s Day since the beginning of this year. And the result has been amazing!

My version of Wife’s Day is very simple.

For more than 25 years since she founded her business, Michelle has been attending to her customers, dutifully working from Monday to Saturday.  In January this year, she decided to join the ranks of those who have a 5-day workweek. She started taking every Friday off from her business, leaving that day as her designated day of rest and recreation.

I was elated and immediately adjusted my work schedule (thank God that I am able to do this at this stage of my life) so that I can spend time with her every Friday.

In the beginning, I planned all sorts of activities that we could do together on Fridays - going for lunch and to the movie, shopping, visitation, foot reflexology and body massages etc. Not long after, Michelle asked me if Friday was her off day or mine. Simply put, she was not enjoying her day off as I have kind of dictated her schedule on Fridays.

That was when I created Wife’s Day.

I decided to let her dictate what she wanted to do on Fridays. I told her that because it is Wife’s Day,  You can decide to do what you want and I will be there with you.This may sound trivial, but it is not.   

While it seems noble of me, early into the scheme, I felt that some of her choices didn’t make sense. There were some Fridays when she wanted to simply stay at home, or go out only in the afternoon, or even to tend to household needs.

I had to struggle with the notion that if she decided to do nothing on a Friday (er … nothing as defined by me means not going to the movies, shopping or having activities out of our home), then we would have wasted the day. The engineer in me framed that as a lost of 2 man-days. After all, I had adjusted my schedule to take the day off with her. What a waste of time that would be if we did not doing something together, I  thought.

But I decided to honour Michelle … “You can decide to do what you want  and I will be there with you” must really mean just that. So for many months now since I made that decision, I will ask Michelle what she wants to do on Wife’s Day and happily support her decision. And yes, that includes doing nothing with her when she wants to do nothing! She couldn't believe it at the onset. I kept my word and now she knows that I mean every word that I said.

Michelle clearly appreciates what I am doing for her and she shows it.

If she’s would be happy doing nothing on Wife’s Day, I am happy doing nothing with her. It is not a matter of how much we do on that day. It is about being by her side and making her feel respected and honoured.

Having a regular Wife’s Day has certainly increased our respect and love for each other. Our relationship has gone up a few notches.

Not all of you will have the luxury of having a Wife's Day every week like me. How about a regular Wife's Date Night, or Wife's Saturday afternoon or a creative mixture of such?

The important thing is not whether it is a day or a certain time slot. Rather, it is the practice of honoring your wife, to reassure her of your love and concern for her and your desire to please her. It is a matter of truly loving her enough to say, "You can do anything you want and I will be there with you!" 

I wish you all a Happy Wife's Day ....

Be a Better Lover, Today!


Your comments and sharing are most welcome. Fuel debate, share your experience and ask questions. Click "Comment" to have you say! You are also encouraged to mark your reaction to my post....

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