Monday, January 23, 2012

Enjoying Parenthood

No matter how hard one tries, it is 
impossible to discharge the 
responsibility perfectly.
- What wives wish their husbands knew about women by Dr James Dobson

It appears that these words contradict the title of my blog - Enjoying Parenthood. They don't.

It is indeed a great responsibility to be a father or a mother, so great that many parents are taken on a guilt trip. They feel that they have not done enough and possibly cannot do enough to bring up their children perfectly. To compensate for this "inadequacy", some try harder and spend much of their time and energy on trying to get it right.

Others simply give up and leave it to one parent to handle the task or resign themselves to being poor parents. And when something goes wrong, the fault is inevitably blamed on each other.

My experience for the last 28 years affirms that there is an alternative - one that works and one that is good for the family.

In my last blog sharing, I emphasized that we cannot be great parents if we do not have a top-notched spousal relationship. This is the key to enjoying parenthood for Michelle and I, even when we had to deal with various challenging situations with our 3 children.

Our constant demonstration of love and respect for each other sets the path for the children to follow. They see for themselves that love is real and love overcomes difficulties.

A strong loving relationship between parents is a proven foundation for dealing with difficult children.

Let me share what Michelle and I practice through the years which allowed us to enjoy parenthood.

- We acknowledge God and constantly bring Him into our family situations.

- We share our parenting responsibilities; this means we do not blame each other for the children's problems.

- We agree with each other that not demonstrating love and respect for each other will badly influence the children's behavior and character.

- We pray together over our children and over our self. We pray with each child and as a family.

- We agree not to quarrel or raise differences in front of our children as much as we can (there were some times we failed but recovered quickly and even apologized to the children for failing in this area.)

Great lovers do make great parents!


Your comments and sharing are most welcome. Fuel debate, share your experience and ask questions. Click "Comment" to have you say! You are also encouraged to mark your reaction to my post....


Rosie said...

Being a parent is the bravest thing I have done on earth. Wrestling with a tiger doesn't even come close.

But a bravery I acknowledge would not have been possible,without two partners always by my side - my spouse and God.

Parenting to me, is a 3-party collaboration I am grateful and happy to be a part of.

Steven Chan said...

Hi Rosie

Thank you for your sharing. You are absolutely right. Without the Third Party, it will be a struggle.