When the hen crows and the cock keeps quiet!

I grew up in a kampung (small village) in the north of Singapore.

Almost every family in the village owned a some cocks and hens in their plot.  The red single comb on its head distinctively differentiates the cock or rooster from the hen. I remember observing that the rooster moved around majestically and most of the times followed by a hen and some chicken, chipping as they follow the cock.

The role of the cock and hen seemed simple enough to me as a child. Every morning when the sun rose, the cock crowed. I don't remember it ever failing to do so. It was created (or designed) to do that and it did the task dutifully.

As for the hen, it laid eggs.

Cock crows, hen chips and lays eggs - this was, is and will always be the order. They were created to fulfill those roles.

What will happen if the hen begins to crow and the cock keeps quiet?

Could it be then the hens will demand their rights (hey, I can crow too) and the cocks will be demoralized (you are taking over my job). Should that really happen,  we may not have any more omelette for breakfast.

I have just described the implications of a role reversal between a cock and a hen. Similarly, when a role reversal happens in a marital relationship, I am certain that there will be problems for the couple and the family.

Before I go on, let me clarify that I am not demeaning the role, capability, capacity and intelligence of my wife and the female species.

In fact, Michelle has proven herself to be wiser than me in many occasions. Many of her advises have saved me from harm's ways over and over again. Consequently, when I counsel men, I often dish a sincere advice - "listen to what your wife has to say."

Now, back to our cock and hen story. It is as if to say that on occasions when the cock forgets to crow at the appointed time, the hen chips her advice to the cock and sets him right. The cock crows.  And it continues to walk along majestically, as if he never failed his responsibility.

The hen does not take over and crow. She merely stands by her cock and makes him look good.

Herein lies the essence of my sharing - Michelle helps me to fulfill the role that my Creator designed me for. In doing so, she fulfills the role that He has designed her for too. Together as a couple, we fulfill our roles harmoniously and effectively.

The most important role for me as her husband is to lead. Michelle's most crucial role is to advice and support me and to stand by me even when I make a wrong decision. For more on the different roles of the husband and wife, read my sharing titled, "Man's Most Important Role" and "The Wife's Most Crucial Role".

Michelle and I are not perfect and are constantly working on making our relationship better. Put simply, there were and will be occasions when we are tempted to have our roles reversed. Some of these will be over simple issues, and others over serious ones. The important thing is how we manage such situations.

This is how Michelle and I have learned to manage our roles over the years; she does her best to help me make right decisions as the head and leader of the family. Even when I make a mistake, she stands by me without shooting me for not listening to her. As for me, I have learned to respect her advice and listen to her before making a decision.

We are careful not to allow our roles to reverse.

This cock continues to crow and his hen chips valuable advices faithfully to him!
 
Steven


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