Monday, December 12, 2011

Trust me, there’s no secret between us

Michelle and I are advocates of the principle of “having no secrets between spouses”. And yes, this means we tell each other everything.
Many couples do not believe that this is possible.
“Surely there must be something that you have kept or want to keep from each other,” they say, “because it is impossible to tell each other everything.”
Well, there both truth and mis-truth in this statement. Let me explain.
There is a big difference between forgetfulness and intentional with holding of information between the husband and wife. It has to do with the attitude. The attitude for Michelle and I is clearly that we intend never to keep any thing secret from each other.  
While there were occasions when we forgot to tell the other some things, but because both of us have this clear intention edged in our hearts, we know that those were not intentional secrets.
Keeping no secret from each other is an expression of the trust we have built up in each other over the years. This trust eliminates every reason for us to keep anything from each other. Anything really means everything - things good, bad, joyful, sad, ambition, fear, temptation, sinful thought.
This same trust allows us to share with each other confidently, with no fear of ridicule or condemnation.
 “But what if my wife/husband is not as understanding?”
“I am too embarrassed to tell him/her of this.”
“Surely there must be something that I have the right to keep to myself!”
I urge you to review such thoughts and quickly realize that they are really barriers to a trusting relationship with your spouse. Trust is one of the must important pillars of great lovers in a great marriage. A trusting spousal relationship must have no secret between the couple.
Trust is never a given. Great lovers work on building their trust in each other and for each other constantly. They seek to give each other the benefit of doubt and refrain from any ridicule and condemnation, giving the other the confidence to confide in or share all things.
So, trust me, there is no secret between great lovers!
I urge you to keep working at building your trust in and for each other.

1 comment:

Rosie said...

"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” -
Walter Anderson