Monday, April 23, 2012

Emotional Intimacy

Singapore's local newspaper (The Sunday Times, 26th Feb 12) ran an article titled, "When it is the wife who strays." It reported that while extramarital affairs continue to be on the rise, adultery cases that involve unfaithful wives are rising.

It cited the case of a wife who, "after her miscarriage, expected emotional support from her husband of eight years. When he ignored her pain, she sought comfort in the arms of another man - a client at the bank she worked. He was also married." They had a extra-marital affair for more than four months before breaking up.

The cheating wife said, "In a slightly perverse way, it was a sort of 'payback' that he (her husband) kept ignoring me.... I find it hard to reconcile myself now to the same person I got married to, with those hopes and dreams."

Let me continue by asking you, "On whose shoulder do you cry on?"

We are created to have emotion. We can try to hide it, pretend that it is not there or even try to suppress it. But no one can truly suppress his emotion. That is why emotional intimacy is so important.

The world out there is a harsh one. We get scolded at work. Colleagues stab us on our back. Friends misunderstand us. Failures demoralize us.
We cannot bear the heartache alone. Such negative events take a heavy toll on our emotional account. We need to talk with someone who empathizes with us. Who can we talk too? On whose shoulder do we cry on?

This is very crucial in every spousal relationship. Spouses must feel safe to share each other's deep emotional needs with one another.

Emotional intimacy is the second most important factor for a great marriage.

Michelle and I cry on each other's shoulder whenever we are emotionally hurt or depressed - there is no other shoulder we want to cry on! In other words, we are very connected emotionally with each other.

This did not happen overnight. In fact, in the early years of our marriage, we could not share our deep emotional thoughts and hurts with each other freely. But thank God that we learned to.

We began by realizing that emotional intimacy is important. Then we deliberately show interest in each other's emotional needs. Thirdly, we constantly deposit into each other's emotional account by words of affirmation and providing our shoulders for the other to cry on.

We cry along with each other. We laugh with each other. We go through emotional issues by praying together.

The result for us is amazing - we know for sure that if we have a problem, we have each other's support always. Now, that is blessed assurance.

Great lovers are emotionally intimate with each other!

God bless.
Your comments and sharing are most welcome. Fuel debate, share your experience and ask questions. Click "Comment" to have you say! You are also encouraged to mark your reaction to my post....

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