There is a Third Party in Our Marriage

The first day of 2015 marks the start of the 33rd year of our marriage. Some say that 33 years is a long time to be married to the same person. Michelle and I think that we have not had enough of each other yet. Not that we are perfect - we still have our differences, but we are glad that we are still going steady in our relationship.

For each wedding anniversary in the last 10 years, I would give Michelle a bouquet of roses, the number of them always tallied with the number of years of our marriage. In the center of the bouquet would be a white rose, symbolizing that Michelle stood out amongst all others for me.

For this year, I presented her with another bouquet of roses, 30 red ones and 3 pink ones in the center. When Michelle received the bouquet, she was delighted. I asked her if she knew why it had 3 pink roses in the center instead of 1. She guessed but did not get the right answer. She thought they represented our 3 children. That was not what I had in mind.

The 3 pink roses represent the tripartite relationship we have in our marriage; Michelle, I and Our Heavenly Father. 33 years is a long time. Without a higher source of love, it would have been tough for us to still enjoy each other and being very much in love. We are so glad that we have this important and loving Third Party in our marriage. We absolutely believe that without His help, we couldn't and wouldn't have lasted so long. We are still imperfect human beings and in-spite of trying many times to change, some of our  bad habits and idiosyncrasies remain. While they irritated us during our early years of marriage, they don't irritate us any more. By His grace and strength, we have learned to accept them. If there would be a change, we consider it to be a bonus. If it remains, it is accepted, sometimes reluctantly, but nonetheless accepted.

My son once told me how he defined love, "It is doing something that I may not like to do but still doing it for the one I love." I thought that was really meaningful.

To love Michelle fully, there are times that I have to do what I may not like to do. It is the same for her too. We learned this from the Greatest Lover in the world - Jesus did not like to be separated from God as He hung on the cross for our sins, yet He did it for us because He loves us. That is love!

As Michelle and I step into our 33rd year of marriage, God gave us His words, "Do not be afraid..." Those were the same first words that the angels told the Mary at Jesus' empty tomb. Shortly after when Jesus met Mary, He said the same words to her, "Do not be afraid...."(Matthew 28:5,10).

I wish you a blessed new year and a year filled with intimate love with your spouse as you allow Abba Father to be the Third Party in your marriage. With His help, you will surely become better lovers!

Steven


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